Off Season Rival Joke Thread

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Off Season Rival Joke Thread

Postby Spence » Mon Jan 30, 2006 8:13 pm

Nothing like taking a shot at your rival in the off season.... It was hard to come up with one, but I'll start. :D

The next great Bud Light radio spot:

"Bud Light presents Real Men of Genius"
(Reaaaaal Men Of Genius)

Today we salute you, Mr. Delusional Michigan Fan (Mr. Delusional Michigan Faaaaaan!)

Season after season, year after year, you try to justify your absurdly high preseason ranking (clutching at straws!)

Season after season, year after year, you scramble to make futile attempts at damage control when the Wolverines lose to a grossly inferior opponent (How'd Northwestern score fifty fouuuuuur?)

Inevitably, you'll bring up the past, and boast of National
Championships won 40 years before you were born (those were the daaaaaays!)

You will point out that you have more wins than any other program as though that is relevant to the current season (been playing since the 1870s!)

Go on, ignore that home loss to your arch rivals in the regular season finale and continue to believe that you'll defeat your bowl opponent with striking ease (we'll win by thirteeeeeeey!)

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh Emperor of Excuses, and take comfort knowing that when you don't finish in the top 25, you'll be back to number three when the preseason polls come out next year (Mr. Delusional Michigan Fan!)"
"History doesn't always repeat itself but it often rhymes." - Mark Twain
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Postby bama_girl » Mon Jan 30, 2006 9:59 pm

i'll tell ya a joke if you'll figure this stupid thingy out for me that i got in an email today........not being able to figure stuff out gets on my nerves!!!

but, unfortunately, it happens more than i'd like to admit :oops:

http://trunks.secondfoundation.org/files/psychic.swf
The weakest of all weak things is a virtue that has not been tested in the fire. ~Mark Twain
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mountainman

Postby mountainman » Mon Jan 30, 2006 10:15 pm

O great wizard has figured out the mystery ! I won't tell until you ask.
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Postby Spence » Mon Jan 30, 2006 11:24 pm

I have it too.

Hint: keep in mind that the symbols change everytime to throw you off.

Hint #2 0, 9, 18, 27, 36, 45, 54, 63, 72, 81
"History doesn't always repeat itself but it often rhymes." - Mark Twain
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Postby Eric » Mon Jan 30, 2006 11:36 pm

That's a good one Spence, but you embarassed me...... :cry: :oops:
Running bowl/MSU/OSU record '05-present: 11-32
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Postby Spence » Mon Jan 30, 2006 11:41 pm

It is your turn. What is good for the goose.......
"History doesn't always repeat itself but it often rhymes." - Mark Twain
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Postby Spence » Tue Jan 31, 2006 1:38 am

How do you get from Columbus to Ann Arbor?

Go north until you smell it, then west until you step in it.[/i]
"History doesn't always repeat itself but it often rhymes." - Mark Twain
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Postby ..fanatic » Tue Jan 31, 2006 2:02 am

I've told this before on the old board.

Back when the military schools like VMI and The Citadel had to start accepting women in the mid-90's, there was a sign outside Lane Stadium on gameday of the Virginia Tech-Virginia game.

It read: "Women at VMI? What's next? Men at UVa?"
"Better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it."
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Postby Howdy » Tue Jan 31, 2006 10:30 am

Spence wrote:How do you get from Columbus to Ann Arbor?

Go north until you smell it, then west until you step in it.[/i]


Shame on you Spence.
Even I wouldn't say that.
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Postby openSkies » Tue Jan 31, 2006 1:17 pm

Did you hear about the tragedy at FSU? The library burned down, and there were thousands of priceless books lost.

They've bought new ones, but they're going to have to color them all back in again.
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Postby bama_girl » Wed Feb 01, 2006 12:11 am

i still don't get it so mountain man, I"M ASKIN!!!!!!!!

i'll tell ya a joke anyway

what's the difference between an auburn cheerleader and a catfish?


one is wet and slimey and the other one is a catfish

baaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahhahahahahahaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Postby bama_girl » Wed Feb 01, 2006 12:12 am

:oops: that was gross, sorry :lol:
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Postby Spence » Wed Feb 01, 2006 12:53 am

The only possible numbers you can get by adding a two digit number and subtracting it from the total is 9, 18, 27, 36, 45, 54, 63, 72, and 81.

Example: 10 (1+0=1) (10-1=9) is the lowest possible number

99 (9+9=18) (99-18=81) is the highest

They change the symbol on the numbers every time so it appears like the answer is changing. The symbol will always match all of those numbers. If you want to cheat to get the symbol, look at 0. Whatever symbol is beside zero will be the hidden symbol. It is kind of a neat trick. I can do the same sort of trick with a deck of cards using 7, 14, and 21. Magic tricks are always more fun when you don't know how the are done. :wink:
"History doesn't always repeat itself but it often rhymes." - Mark Twain
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Postby Spence » Wed Feb 01, 2006 1:23 am

New Michigan Quarterback

* Smurf throwing a football edited out to respect bandwidth*
Lefthanded transfer out of Boise St.
Last edited by Spence on Fri Feb 03, 2006 9:03 am, edited 2 times in total.
"History doesn't always repeat itself but it often rhymes." - Mark Twain
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mountainman

Postby mountainman » Wed Feb 01, 2006 9:55 am

There you go. :wink:

Those things are like lawyers ..... they never ask you a question they don't already know the answer too. :shock:

At least the good ones don't. :lol:
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