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I haven’t abandoned the board

Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2017 4:48 pm
by Spence
I know I have not been very vocal this season. I have been here almost every day. I just haven’t been able to participate as I would like. My mom is at the end of her life. It is getting really close now and I have had responsibilities for her. She raised and supported me my whole life as she did my brother and sister and now it is our turn to be here for her. It isn’t a burden, but it has been time consuming. That along with my responsibilities as a coach and trying not to let the kids down has taken most of my time. Not to mention my responsibilities to my own kids. It just hasn’t allowed me much time here. But I am here and don’t plan on leaving anytime soon. I expect to have more of a presence as the season progresses. Sorry about the lack of participation so far this year. I consider you guys friends and I don’t want you to think I have jumped ship.

Re: I haven’t abandoned the board

Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2017 4:57 pm
by billybud
Sorry to hear that about your mother Spence....

One of the sad aspects of aging is burying your parents....

Re: I haven’t abandoned the board

Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2017 6:42 pm
by donovan
Spence, Always good to know people and have friends that have their priorities in the right place. Best to you and your family, I know it is not easy.

Re: I haven’t abandoned the board

Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2017 7:18 pm
by Cane from the Bend
No worries, Spence. Even in your lack of presence, you have participated about as much as the rest of us.

I'm sorry to hear of your impending loss. I know it is hard to infer much comfort from those whom are not close to the family. However, your being there is such a comfort to your mother's heart.

As for us, take your time. Your priorities are clearly adjusted. And, we'll be here for you when you're able to be around.

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Re: I haven’t abandoned the board

Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2017 10:07 pm
by Derek
Sorry to hear that Spence! Take care! :(

Re: I haven’t abandoned the board

Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2017 11:12 pm
by Spence
Thanks guys. My mom has lived an amazing life. She was told she probably wouldn't live to be 50. She survived a severe heart attack, a bad stroke, hundreds of mini stroke, skin cancer, and breast cancer. She also always there for me, my brother, and my sister. She has finally hit something she can't beat. Stage 4 lung cancer - the same thing that killed my dad. She quit smoking at 32. She is 83 and has out lived her two sisters and 1 brother. Her birthday is at the end of November. She won't make that. Dying is part of life, but it is very hard to see a woman that has spent her whole life fighting, to quit fighting. It is just tough.

Re: I haven’t abandoned the board

Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2017 10:12 am
by WoVeU
Very sorry to hear of this Spence, you have my condolences. She indeed sounds like an amazing woman and I would have loved to have known her. But she did give us you, quite an amazing person as well. I lost my dad a year and a half ago, it is very rough to lose loved ones and it is rough to watch the fight leave, but I believe it must be so for one to leave in peace. I thought it allowed my dad to fully recount his life experiences and consider what he left for those here to carry on. Prayers and best wishes.

Re: I haven’t abandoned the board

Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2017 10:58 am
by Spence
Sorry to hear about your dad as well. It is a rough time, but it is all part of life. We all have to experience it. I lost my Dad about a year before I joined the old board here. It is are to believe just how long I've been here. My 2nd and third child was born since I have been here. My middle kid is 15. Time flies.

Re: I haven’t abandoned the board

Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2017 5:06 pm
by Eric
I haven't experienced losing a parent yet, but I still dread the day whenever that comes. Your mom sounds like a wonderful person Spence and I hope you and your family do alright. That's tough to hear.

Re: I haven’t abandoned the board

Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2017 9:27 pm
by Spence
Thanks Eric. We will be alright. I don't agree with the saying time heals all wounds. I don't think the pain of losing someone ever goes away. it doesn't get farther away. I still have times when I want to call my dad about something. Today was one of those days. But my parents left us a good foundation to build our families on and they left us a good roadmap to follow. I think that is the most you can ask of your parents.

Re: I haven’t abandoned the board

Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2017 4:07 pm
by WoVeU
Losing a parent or sibling is tough, but I have known several people who lost a child...that is Hell on Earth for a long time. In many ways it does not feel as though my dad is gone. When I have the urge to talk to him I simply go ahead and have it, knowing full well I am choreographing/authoring his side of the conversation (I think I am pretty good at it.) I have been gone from home for 28 years and much of our relationship was based on phone calls. So I think those years of imagining his face and emotions helps me to do this. I miss the old man but I am very pleased at just how much of him I carry with me.

Re: I haven’t abandoned the board

Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2017 11:48 pm
by Spence
I can't imagine losing a child. I don't want to even think about it. My Dad left early. He was only 69. Mom was 83. She did things the way she wanted and lived every day with no regrets. I'm not sad for her. Just for me. I'm would have to go forward if something happened to one of my kids, because that is life, but I don't think I could ever get over it. I know I couldn't.